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the ancients said:

"Forty without perplexity, fifty knowing destiny, sixty obedient."

people over forty have experienced ups and downs and increased experience. They are no longer ignorant and reckless as they were when they were young, and they need to be more cautious with each step.

entering middle age, life has entered a new stage. Learning to simplify yourself and control the rhythm is a compulsory course for everyone.

from now on, stop doing the following 12 things and walk more safely in the second half of life.

about interpersonal communication

there is a song that goes like this:

"it is hard to find friends in thousands of miles, but it is easy to walk when there are many friends."

when I was young, I always thought that having too many friends was a good thing, so I made friends everywhere.

it is not until middle age that people find that there are too few people in the world who can empathize with their feelings, and it is enough to have a bosom friend in life.

Don't consume human feelings too much

as the saying goes, "Human feelings are as thin as paper, and people are as ruthless as wolves."

it is easier to ask for help than to be affectionate.

Human kindness seems to be free, but it is actually very expensive.

it takes more energy and financial resources to pay off the human debt.

after middle age, if you can communicate with people and solve things with money, don't go to a "facial scan". Human kindness is more valuable than interest.

No matter how deep the relationship is, no matter how good the relationship is, you should have a ruler in your heart, measure the yardstick of doing things, and grasp the distance between them.

Don't go too far in asking for help and don't cross the line in front of interests.

Human feelings are like a passbook, only when there is a balance of access can there be a long flow of water.

Don't say cruel words, don't do soft things

"EQ" says:

"the degree to which you are comfortable determines the height you can reach."

it is reasonable not to speak loudly, and soft language is like the silent spring rain that moistens things, making people feel like a spring breeze.

leave a line of work so that we can meet again in the future.

this is the way to say and do things, leaving room to go further.

Li Ka-shing, a business tycoon, has spent his whole life practicing the philosophy of "fighting with the power of the lion and treating others with the kindness of the Bodhisattva."

not only treat people leniently and courteously, but also do business at the right time and choose the right one, so that a solid business empire has been built.

those who love others always love them, and those who respect others always respect them.

in this life, only by not saying cruel words can we win good friends; only by not doing soft things can we gain a firm foothold.

Don't socialize with useless dinners, simplify your circle of friends

I have heard the idea that low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude.

when young, people always like to go around for dinner and try their best to make friends.

after half a lifetime, I finally understand that most of the table and wine glasses are just for fun.

be sure to understand that what makes people remember you is your strength, not the change of cups on the dinner table.

circles determine life, but true friends are never at the dinner table or wine table.

Smart people never force themselves to be gregarious, and never let the so-called "hidden social rules" hold themselves hostage.

it is a lifelong practice for adults to streamline social circles, reduce useless social interaction, and learn to be alone.

about marriage and family

Satier, a world-famous psychotherapist, once said:

"I believe that the family is completely different from the outside world. It can be full of love, care and understanding, and become a place for one to save one's energy."

half of your life is over, please cherish the family who is waiting for you unconditionally.

not in harmony with the rest of life

Mr. Yang Jiang once had a dispute with Qian Zhongshu over French pronunciation when he was on a ship abroad.

finally, a Frenchman on board proved that Yang Jiang was right.

afterwards, she was not happy and regretted that the quarrel had hurt Qian Zhongshu.

in marriage, if you have to win or lose, even if you win the argument, you will lose your relationship.

the contradiction between middle-aged couples is not the emotional discord of the three values, but the perennial lack of maintenance of feelings.

learn to be considerate of others in everything. Only when two people get closer and closer can their marriage become happier and happier.

cherish the person next to you, not everyone will be there all the time, some people, as soon as they turn around, it will be forever.

Don't be too demanding of children

Smart parents will wait and wait for the flowers to bloom.

foolish parents encourage and destroy their children.

give your child some room to grow up freely. Don't treat your child as private property. He is just a gift from God.

accept a child's imperfections and there is no need to set high standards for him.

the best love for a child is to allow him to live as he likes.

Don't lose your temper with your relatives casually

some people, outsiders, are gentle, humble and courteous and greet each other with a smile.

in the face of his own family, it is evil words, all kinds of picky, accusation, impatience.

give tolerance and patience to strangers, but leave bad temper and negative energy to those closest to you.

William Bernard wrote a sentence in the Harvard Family motto:

"Don't think they won't mind, just like hammering a nail into a fence, the injury will leave a permanent mark."

A hot Kang after a long time, all will be cold; no matter how much you love, it will hurt.

be kind to your loved ones and start by controlling your emotions.

about healthy living

Health is the greatest wealth in life. One can live without money, but not without health.

Health is the foundation of life and the source of happiness.

stop bad habits and don't squander your health

it is normal for modern people to stay on the machine, eat too much, eat three blocks at night, and still sleep on three poles in the sun.

A person with excessive work and rest has no guarantee of life.

Bacon said:

"habits are the masters of life, and people should strive for good habits."

change your life, starting with changing your habits.

have a good sleep, go to bed early and get up early and don't stay up late, be a living person.

eating on time, stopping overeating, quitting smoking and limiting alcohol are the best ways to take care of your health.

Don't let bad habits steal your health. Don't let bad habits get in the way of your life.

Don't be a sofa guest, do moderate exercise

some studies have pointed out that 60 to 75 minutes of moderate exercise a day is enough to eliminate the risk of premature death caused by sitting for more than eight hours.

sitting for a long time will not only cause obesity, but also lead to endocrine disorders.

Life lies in exercise, health lies in exercise.

after dinner, you must not lie down to watch TV or play with your mobile phone.

you can go out for a run, take a walk, and get some exercise.

while exercising every day, strenuous exercise should also be avoided to prevent excessive physical overdraft.

We can't stop aging, but we can choose to grow old healthily.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself

from the month to the fifteenth day, there is little light, and people rest in middle age.

in the middle-aged world, there are people who are old and young, and the pressure of housing loans, car loans and so on is hard to breathe.

read a fable:

there is a kind of bug that likes to pick up things very much. on the road it climbs, it will pick up and put on its back anything it can touch.

finally, the bug was crushed to death by the weight on its body.

many people, like that little bug, do not know how to choose, hang the heavy burden on themselves one by one, refuse to put it down, and finally crush themselves.

know how to choose, do everything according to your ability, and don't use other people's standards to create a psychological pressure cooker of nothingness for yourself.

learn to subtract, take a rest when you are tired, get bored, get together with your friends, talk, relax, and don't choke yourself.

about self-growth

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never too old to learn.

in this ever-changing world, if you don't want to be eliminated, you can't relax your study and never forget to improve yourself.

Don't have too much entertainment, allocate your time reasonably

there is a saying in Charles IX:

"it doesn't matter how old a person lives, what matters is how he gets through these years!"

also 24 hours, some people continue to recharge their studies in their spare time, while others are addicted to games and can't help themselves.

how you spend today will determine what kind of tomorrow you have.

how much time you are willing to spend on improving yourself today will determine how far you can go tomorrow.

the gap between people lies in how they use their time.

making good use of every minute and every second, not losing yourself in entertainment is the responsibility for life.

Don't close yourself up and accept new things

A 49-year-old aunt became popular on the Internet some time ago.

originally engaged in dormitory management, she persisted in her studies and was admitted to graduate school with her son. She was called "auntie".

Life is like a mountain, every mountain has its own scenery. Only by constantly climbing can you enjoy different scenery and experience different joys.

Don't use age as an excuse. Life doesn't start too late. As long as you dare to try and challenge new things, there will be another hole in the end.

it's a long journey. I won't stop pursuing it.

constantly broaden the cognitive radius and climb upward in order not to be out of touch with the times and make this life more colorful.

Don't wait for everything, act immediately if you want to do it

"think of a thousand roads at night and walk the old way in the morning" is the norm of many people's lives.

thinking without learning and hesitation is the most time-wasting behavior.

if you miss something, you won't have a chance. When the opportunity comes, you should act decisively, don't be timid, let alone wait for a long time to come.

read a book, start with 20 or 50 pages, and then stick to it.

exercise fitness, first take the first step and begin to practice the first fitness action.

Don't wait until you gain weight to regret not losing weight earlier, don't wait to be sick to regret not taking care of your body, don't wait to be eliminated to regret not improving yourself.

there is no medicine for regret. Improving execution is the antidote to all troubles.

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Life is like fleeting, raising one's eyes to middle age.

there is a good saying in the collected works of Mid-levels:

"if you take back the hope placed on others and put it on yourself, you can keep your romance for the rest of your life."

from now on, it is the highest way to stop meaningless entanglement, refuse unnecessary consumption and overdraft, and review the present life.

, may you let go of the past, control your emotions, and enjoy the rest of your life with the best of yourself.