when you are in pain, you really want to talk to someone, hoping to get some relief and sympathy.

if you have a small achievement, you can't wait to tell the world to satisfy your inner sense of superiority.

seeing a rough road, he immediately stepped forward and wanted to help others solve their problems.

most of the time, we are eager to express ourselves, but the result is not satisfactory, or even counterproductive.

some people say: "in our lives, the most difficult thing is not to express, but to know how to be silent."

No matter in times of prosperity or adversity, keeping quiet, not showing off, not doing too much, and knowing how to be silent at the right time is the top self-discipline of adults.

unannounced drudgery

with regard to talking, Cai Kangyong has shared his experience.

at one stage, he encountered something bad and was very depressed, so he tried to talk to his friends around him.

unexpectedly, instead of getting comfort from my friends, I frightened them.

these friends said, "even you are devastated, so what are we going to do?"

as a result, Cai Kangyong said with emotion: "Life cannot be pinned on others, no matter whether they are malicious or well-intentioned."

in this world, everyone is too busy to take care of themselves, and no one can take care of your emotions and feelings.

Jonah, the protagonist in Chekhov's novel distress, is a wretched coachman whose wife died early and his only son died of illness.

the loss of his son depressed him and told everyone about his misfortune.

one evening, Jonara went up to a fellow countryman, and he mentioned his son carefully.

out of courtesy, the countrymen asked back a few questions. Jonah told the cause of his son's death, but he didn't want to see the way, which was on the verge of danger.

his countrymen yelled at him, urged him to go quickly impatiently, closed his eyes and refused to listen to him again.

once again, Jonara fell in love with three young men.

in the interval of the conversation between the three, he talked about his tragic experience again.

as a result, one of them said indifferently, "everyone will die."

he was very uncomfortable when another man suddenly asked him, "bus driver, do you have a wife?"

when Jonah finally saw that someone was willing to listen to him, he began to talk again, but the three men had arrived, got up and left quickly.

Jonah longed to tell his misfortune in exchange for pity and comfort from others, but no one cared about him.

even the poor sweeps, like him, drove him away in disgust.

this reminds me of a sentence in "disqualification in the world":

"I still think that complaining to others is futile. Instead of doing so, it is better to bear it in silence."

Human joys and sorrows are not the same, and counting on the understanding and sympathy of others will only reap more disappointment.

your talk may be seen as an annoyance, and your pain is just a conversation and pastime in the words of others.

the real redemption is to strengthen your heart and let time heal the pain.

do not lift up the pleasure

host Meng Feizeng said:

"all sense of superiority does not come from appearance, stature, knowledge, family, wealth, status, achievement and power, but from lack of insight and compassion."

the kind of self-centered boasting regardless of other people's feelings is a sign of shallow ignorance.

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@ Wood

once talked about his own experience:

that year, he performed improperly and was not admitted to the ideal university.

one day, a friend of my mother's came to visit, and her daughter had just finished taking the exam.

knowing that Mu Mu was admitted to an ordinary university, the aunt said without hesitation:

"this kind of ordinary university is difficult to find a job in the future. My daughter took the exam of 985. After graduation, all the units rushed to get a monthly salary of at least 10,000 yuan."

I heard that the food and environment in that school are very good. I'm telling you, a good school is just different. "

Auntie talked happily for a long time. Mu Mu said that he wanted to find a crack in the ground at that time, and he still remembers the feeling of embarrassment.

for other people's unhappiness, even if we can't be sympathetic, we should remain kind and not touch other people's scars.

the greatest stupidity of a person is that he likes to show himself too much.

the weakness of Human Nature.

A lady always likes to talk about how good her work is and how efficient she is in front of her friends.

at first, people will praise, but later, friends not only have no patience to listen, but also make sarcastic remarks.

the lady is very confused. She just wants to share her happiness with her friends. Why do people reject it?

I think of what Gao Xiaosong said at the "wonderful work Conference": "if you can live a lovely life, don't live a jealous life."

apart from close relatives, few people in life really want you to be better off than they are.

while we are happy, we should also take care of the emotions of others.

A person's greatest maturity is to know how to be silent.

not showing the edge is a pattern, and pleasure without talking about it is self-cultivation.

mind your own business

there is a fable.It is called "the neighbor's father lifts the wood".

there is a man whose son is naughty by nature, who doesn't do his job all day and makes trouble everywhere.

one day, the son got into trouble again, and in a fit of anger, the father taught his son a lesson with a whip.

when the neighbor's old man saw it, he also took a stick to help him fight.

the father was surprised and asked the old man why he beat his son.

the old man said, "I'm helping you discipline."

the father was very angry and said to him, "it's my own business to educate my son. It's none of your business. Who wants you to mind your own business?"

if you use it in the wrong place with good intentions, you will only be disliked.

writer Bondarev said: "all the root causes of human suffering stem from the lack of a sense of boundary."

between people, to maintain boundaries, not to interfere in other people's lives, is a person's best self-discipline.

in the best friend's guide, there is a couple.

when they first got married, they were in love with each other.

over time, there began to be differences and quarrels.

every time after a quarrel with her husband, a woman always goes to her best friend to cry and complain about her husband.

my friends always listen silently and say nothing.

once, a woman came to her friend to complain about how lazy her husband was, but her friend still said nothing.

she was disappointed and asked her friend, "are you still my good friend? how can you be indifferent to my affairs?"

my friend said:

"you confided to me to vent your feelings, and you don't want me to deepen the conflict between your husband and wife.

since there is no question of principle, I will not tell you what to do about your marriage, let alone comment on your husband. "

husband and wife will inevitably have conflicts when they get along with each other. As friends, the best support is listening, rather than rash "advice" or "justice".

writer Shi Tiesheng said: "most of the things in the world are out of blind worry, from blind worry to poor interference."

in life, there are always some "warm-hearted" people who like to focus on others.

either criticize other people's education of their children, worry about the marriage of older women, or give advice on what other people wear.

do not realize that their own "kindness" is an invasion of other people's lives, which will only bore them.

mind your own business is the best respect for others.

some people say: "it took half a lifetime to know that talking is the appearance, and silence is the normal state of life."

in life, there are some words that no one can say, and some words are useless.

Silence is not indifference and alienation, but a wise attitude towards life.

undeclared hard work is a kind of maturity of thought;

A lack of joy is a kind of kind humility;

mind your own business is a kind of wisdom in doing things.

, may you and I restrain ourselves for the rest of my life, not complaining in times of hardship, not showing off in times of joy, and focusing on our own life.