duhaoshu

American writer David Myers wrote in his book:

"Man is born a social animal, and his thoughts and behaviors will be more or less influenced by others or society.

"

as the saying goes, those who are close to red are red, and those who are close to ink are black.

it really matters who you spend your whole life with.

if you fly with the Phoenix, you must be a handsome bird; if you walk with a tiger and wolf, you must be a beast.

what kind of people we associate with and who we choose to go with will virtually affect or even change our lives.

on the road to the future, who we walk with is also an active screening process.

the rest of your life is long, so don't get too close to people who are poor.

people with poor hearts do not want to make progress

see a netizen's post for help on Zhihu:

what should you do when you are surrounded by a group of people who do not want to make progress, and you are a person with ideals and goals?

living in such a big dye vat, although you have your own pursuit, it is inevitable that it will be affected.

if I want to stick to myself, should I boldly stick to myself, or should I integrate into the group and be myself at the same time?

there is a user

@ imagined

, share your story:

he says he also lives in such a jar.

I always thought that I should work hard, be excellent, learn all kinds of things, and disdain to be with them.

but the reality makes him slowly assimilate, become decadent, lazy, day after day, living a life that does not want to make progress.

the most terrible effect of the environment is that you want to try to change yourself.

but the people around you pull you to play cards, trembling again and again to refuse temptation? Or tell yourself to talk about it tomorrow?

he tried to leave, but what he got was emptiness and loneliness, which became an anomaly in the eyes of others.

A typical characteristic of people with poor hearts is that they do not want to make progress.

they have no fighting spirit for life, let alone pursue it. They just muddle along and waste their time every day.

being with such a person will only dampen your enthusiasm, erode your love and expectations for life, make you lazy and depraved, and no longer have dreams and hopes for the future.

the ancients said:

"and good human settlements, such as entering the room of Zhilan, not hearing its fragrance for a long time;

and poor human settlements, such as entering the restaurant of abalone, do not smell its stench for a long time.

"

in popular terms, it means:

whether it is a good environment or a bad environment, if we stay in the same environment for a long time, we can easily be assimilated and become part of the environment.

in real life, we will encounter some bad environments more or less:

it may be a classmate who doesn't study around, a colleague who has nothing to do, or a friend who drinks and plays cards all day.

and what we have to do is to try to jump out of this environment and stay away from people who are unmotivated, unmotivated and confused.

instead of being assimilated by the environment, you end up becoming a person you hate.

people with poor hearts don't know how to be grateful.

read a short story:

on the way to work every day, a young man passes a beggar.

look at him, the young man will give him 10 yuan every time.

in this way, he held on for several years, until one day, when the young man passed by him, he did not pay.

the beggar got angry and asked the young man why.

the young man said, I used to live alone, so I gave you 10 yuan, but now that I am married and have children, I am ready to save money to support my family.

the beggar was furious: "how can you use my money to support your family?"

there is a concept in economics called "the marginal effect of gratitude".

people who receive help, their gratitude to those who provide help decreases as the number of times of help increases.

after decreasing to a certain extent, people who receive help will take other people's help for granted.

even after stopping the help, they resent the people who provide the help.

that's what poor people do:

they take the goodness of others for granted, only know how to take, but do not know how to give and appreciate.

when we get along with such people, our kindness will be disappointed and our sincerity will be consumed.

it is the duty of others to help you, and it is the duty not to help you. Never regard the affection of others as your duty.

people are all mutual.

if you are good to me, I will also be kind to you; if you are not good to me, I will take back my kindness to you.

our hearts are very expensive and should be left to people who are worth it.

there are many people in this world, not all of them are worthy of our dedication and kindness.

some people only ask for you, but never know how to give back. The nicer you are to him, the more he takes it for granted.

time knows the heart. After knowing a person's true character, what we need to do is to stop the loss in time.

reject him, stay away from him, ignore himhe.

people with poor hearts can't see the good of others

there is a word called crab effect:

when there is a crab in the basket, the lid must be closed, or it will climb out.

and when there are two or more crabs in the basket, there is no need to close the lid.

because every time one crab climbs up, the other will pull it down and step on it.

the end result is that none of the crabs can climb out.

this reminds me of he Shihao, a Shandong guy who caused a heated discussion on the Internet some time ago.

27-year-old he Shihao, who counterattacked all the way from medical college to Stanford, is determined to become a top neurosurgical expert.

looking back on his counterattack, he mentioned a story in his sharing:

when he was studying in a junior college, he was studying with the lamp on in the dormitory because he had to prepare for CET-4 or CET-6.

the exam was coming soon, so he didn't agree. As a result, his roommate smashed his desk lamp directly.

under the video, some netizens commented:

it's not that you turn on the lamp to affect them to watch horror movies, it's the light from your efforts that hurts their decadent and depraved hearts, so smash your lamp. I hope you can join them.

in the TV series "you from the Stars", there is a line:

that's the way human nature is. Seeing others climb higher than you doesn't mean I'm going there, too.

but say to others, come down, come down, and come into this quagmire.

one of the weaknesses of human nature is that you can't see others well.

others are not allowed to have what they do not have.

once someone tries to change, his first thought is not to be with others, but to pull them down.

you will find that the poorer people are, the more they like to step on each other.

they don't have a good life for themselves, and they don't want you to have a good life;

they don't glow themselves and want to blow out your lamp.

getting too close to such people will only make our lives bleak and mediocre.

some people say that what is more terrible than poverty is the poverty of the heart.

if you are poor, you will suffer for a while at most, but if you have a poor heart, you may suffer for a lifetime.

Life is expensive, so we should try our best to stay away from people with poor hearts and avoid becoming people with poor hearts.

here are three suggestions that I hope will enlighten you:

either read or think

in this life, people want to see sentient beings, heaven and earth, and themselves.

and reading is the best way to increase your knowledge.

I have seen more, my vision has broadened, and my heart has become rich and clear.

about thinking, what I want to say is that we should not be followers of others, but should have our own blueprints and plans.

have a clear understanding of the future, have a clear plan for life, and be a determined person who is not influenced by others.

it is better to strive for success than assimilation

it is undeniable that the environment has a great influence on a person.

but like the Shandong boy he Shihao, instead of being assimilated by the environment, he secretly made up his mind, became angry and made up his mind to achieve a counterattack in life.

if you are unfortunately in a bad environment, try to make yourself stand up and jump out of the original circle.

to a large extent, it is up to you to decide what kind of people around you.

if you are in full bloom, the breeze will come

Don't chase a horse, use the time to chase a horse to recommend it. When the spring blossoms, there will be a number of fine horses for you to choose.

Are you getting impatient when looking for a beautiful and sturdy cocktail dresses for juniors now? We have cuts and forms to fit any silhouette.

Don't try to curry favor with someone. Use your time when you don't have any friends to improve your ability. When the time is right, you will have a large number of friends to go with you.

excellent friends are not flattered, but attracted.

when you keep moving forward, when you become excellent, I believe there will be more and more like-minded people gathered around you.

so try to cultivate yourself.

enrich your heart, enrich your spirit, and make life interesting.

, may we all choose good and make friends, and stay away from people who are poor in heart.

can also constantly improve himself and become a person with light in his eyes, dreams in his heart and a road under his feet.

one book a week

,

one book a week

,