there is a sentence in the movie "my brothers and sisters":

"brothers and sisters are snowflakes in the sky, falling on the ground, melting into water and ice, so they can no longer be separated."

brothers and sisters, because of the bond of affection, the relationship between brothers and sisters is more secure than that of ordinary friends.

as relatives connected with our own blood, when our brothers and sisters encounter difficulties, we should lend a helping hand.

however, any social relationship should pay attention to the balance, no matter how good the relationship between brothers and sisters, can not take the liberty to help each other these three kinds of help, otherwise it is very likely to turn into enemies.

Don't introduce someone to each other's children

may do bad things with good intentions

people often say, "Marriage is a big deal."

Marriage is a lifetime event for all of us.

No matter how warm-hearted you are, don't help each other with the marriage event, otherwise it is likely to be unhelpful.

I have a cousin, my daughter is more introverted, usually because she is too busy at work, she does not have the time and channels to meet the opposite sex of the same age.

so he asked me several times, saying that if there is a single guy with good conditions in my unit, please make peace for his daughter.

A few months ago, I hooked up this cousin's daughter with a boy.

this boy has a good working income and family background, including height and appearance, which can be regarded as the ideal type of niece.

the relationship between the two went well at first, and they felt like they both looked right at each other the first time they met.

however, after getting along for some time, the niece found that the boy was very different from what she thought he looked like in his life.

for example, a boy seems to be doing a good job, but in fact, his work is introduced by a family relationship, and he only likes playing games and has no ambition at all.

for example, a boy seems to have a good income, but in fact, a large part of his money is spent on games, spending all his monthly salary and gnawing on the old.

for example, a boy seems to be extroverted, but he always likes to speak ill of others behind his back, which is not stable at all.

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the longer I spent with him, the more awkward my niece felt, and the two slowly lost touch.

and I, after going through such an experience, understand a truth:

never introduce someone to the children of your siblings. The closer the relationship is, the more cautious you should be.

emotion is originally a very complicated thing, and it is impossible for two people to get along without contradictions when their personalities match again.

when there is a fight between the tongue and teeth, if there is a contradiction between the two, as an introduction, they are likely to bear the inexplicable responsibility.

Don't help each other find a job

may be thankless

I saw a post like this in the forum the other day:

the blogger's cousin failed to find a job a year after graduation, so he asked his uncle to look for him and asked him to help introduce a job.

originally the blogger was going to refuse, but because he felt that his uncle was old and the old man did not easily ask for help, he should do it.

in order to introduce his cousin to his job, he invited the personnel and supervisors of the company for several meals, and gave away a lot of tobacco and alcohol, which helped his cousin to complete a purchasing job with an internship salary of 4500 and a regular salary of 5500.

and then invited several leaders of the purchasing department of the company to dinner, hoping that everyone would take good care of their cousins, so as to help them pave the way.

but unexpectedly, my cousin did not go to work after less than a week. He also said that the job was unstable and that he wanted to find an organized iron rice bowl job.

I didn't expect my uncle to tell others that he was unreliable. He casually found a job that no one wanted to do and sent himself away.

helping people find jobs is very common in life.

before the other person asks you to help find a job, they already have certain expectations for the job.

he will think that you are so capable, it must be easy to help him find a job that makes more money and is not tired.

if the job you find for him does not meet his expectations, the end result is likely to be thankless, and he will feel that you are not trying to help him or look down on him.

We all say, "you can't have both fish and bear's paw."

but most of the time, when looking for a job, many people still want to have both "money" and "ease".

therefore, it is better to reject each other at the beginning.

Don't lend money to or borrow money from each other easily

Human nature cannot stand the test

all of us have to deal with money when we are alive.

therefore, the importance of money is self-evident.

it is the premise of all material life, if there is no money, the most basic life can not be met normally.

as the saying goes, "one mother gives birth to nine children, and the nine children are different."

Brothers and sisters have different abilities, different occupations and different income levels.

none of us can guarantee that we can keep money all the time.With plenty of money, it is only natural to find friends and relatives when you encounter difficulties.

but if brothers and sisters want to maintain a long-term peace, do not easily lend money to each other, or borrow money from each other.

it hurts too much to talk about money.

A young man once told me such a thing:

when his cousin got married, he borrowed 50,000 yuan from him for turnover, and when he borrowed it, he agreed to pay it back two months later, so he lent his cousin the car money he had finally saved.

because it was difficult for him to open his mouth, it took him almost a year to buy a car, so he had to save face and ask his cousin to repay the money.

but he waited for more than a month, but he didn't see his cousin make any move.

he asked his cousin, "cousin, when will the money be transferred to me?"

cousin replied, "I've had an emergency recently. I can only pay you back in a few days."

more than half a year later, when Fa Xiao asked his cousin to urge him to repay the loan, the cousin used other excuses to procrastinate.

in the back, my cousin simply didn't answer the phone or reply to the message.

Fa sighed and said, "my relationship with my cousin has hit rock bottom for fifty thousand yuan."

We must admit one fact:

No matter how close the relationship between brothers and sisters is, there are sometimes closeness and differences between inside and outside.

with frequent financial exchanges, conflicts will gradually become more and more.

only by getting along with each other with a sense of proportion can the relationship between brothers and sisters develop more amicably.

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there is only one fate between brothers and sisters in this life, and it is a blessing to be lucky to be brothers and sisters.

Don't do anything that affects the feelings of brothers and sisters.

as the writer Su Cen said:

"comfort is the most important no matter who you get along with."

, in the process of getting along with brothers and sisters, you must learn to compare your heart to heart and think of others. Don't hurt the family affection that blood is thicker than water because of some small entanglements.

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